Welcome to our blog post. I am so glad you clicked on this topic!
Perfectionism is hidden everywhere — in our schools, at our gym, at our office, and when we watch TV. It is …everywhere. It starts off as an invitation to adhere to goals and standards society deems as “this is worthy” and “aspire to this to be happy.” But unchecked and unchallenged, it can develop into a cycle of worry, self hate, agony, anxiety, rigidity, and depression, which is the not so nice side of perfectionism.
Unhelpful and unrealistic perfectionism keeps people running towards goals and never arriving, never feeling content, happiness, or joy. Many people have different types of perfectionism and they don’t even know it.
Everything is being measured by how one is succeeding, and there is little ability to enjoy every day life. Joy is pushed off to some distant future.
WHERE PERFECTION COULD SHOW UP
1. Perfectionism in school
Perfectionism shows up as intense worry for performance and grades. Clues perfectionism is operating the show are nightmares, lack of sleep, issues in eating, isolation, self hate, rumination over exams, shame and intense guilt, and lastly the possibility of suicidal thoughts. This can be reinforced in some cultures and family expectations too.
Perfectionism takes the fun out of learning.
2. Perfectionism in dealing with others
Perfectionism will look like an obsession to not let others see our faults, trying to control conversations, desire to be accepted by others, and masking. Masking can be anything from emotions, habits, traits, or interests. When engaged in a cycle of perfectionism it is cumbersome to live up to and be able to be present with others.
Perfectionism sucks the joy out of life.
3. Perfectionism in body image and food
Body Image: It can sometimes be so extreme that it has its own diagnosis. “Body dysmorphia”. Having something like this form of perfectionism causes people to be afraid to leave the home, unable to stop looking in a mirror or avoiding mirrors, checking every little detail, obsession to conform one’s body to something else. The chase is real. The thoughts are non stop. This is something that can be treated and worked on with a therapist.
Disordered Eating: Perfectionism is a huge part of eating disorder recovery. Perfectionism says “I have to have the perfect weight or the perfect body.” Please seek help for any and all anxiety and fears with food.
Perfectionism is invasive and intrusive to the self image and self esteem.
4. Perfectionism in ADHD/Autism (masking)
The past decade has seen a great revival to get proper diagnosing and treatment for what was viewed as anxiety, depression, bipolar, and borderline. The desire to fit into society was so intense for some that perfectionism was the way to manage everything. Some call it, “masking.” The failure to be perfect in public, schools, or relationships resulted in burn out, depression, isolation, fear, OCD, and panic attack.
A lot of people with what some call “High Functioning” anxiety, ADHD, autism, and depression have a lot of perfectionistic routines and standards that the individual feels compelled to live up to.
Perfectionism does not discriminate.
5. Religion, faith, and spirituality (Scrupulosity)
Perfectionism is widespread in many religious communities. If one does not live up to the expected status quo in the community, there is a follow up that is internal of intense emotions circulating around guilt, shame, and fear. Some people have found comfort and freedom in learning about scrupulosity.
Perfectionism robs the peace and beauty in growing one’s spirituality.
SUMMARY: If any of these topics above stood out, please schedule a therapy session with one of us. We are here to help.
These things are super common and they can be overcome.
