Self-Esteem? Self-Acceptance.

by | Feb 25, 2025 | 0 comments

Self-Esteem. That thing we’re all supposed to chase after like it’s the secret to happiness. But here’s the problem. The word “esteem” actually comes from the Latin root aestimare, which means to estimate. And get this, self-esteem is about estimating ourselves based on what we think other people think of us. Confusing? Yeah. It is. But that’s exactly why we all struggle to “boost” our self-esteem. It’s like trying to grab a cloud. You can never quite get a hold of it, no matter how hard you try.

Think about it for a second. If your self-worth is tied to what other people think of you—whether it’s your friends, social media followers, or even your teachers—then how in the world can you feel truly confident or stable? One day, someone compliments you and you feel on top of the world. The next, someone criticizes you, and suddenly, you’re back at square one, doubting yourself.

That’s why self-esteem is like a roller coaster. High one moment, low the next. It’s constantly shifting. And if you’re trying to build it by relying on external validation, you’re setting yourself up for failure, because you’re always estimating your worth based on other people’s opinions. And guess what? Those opinions are always changing.

Now, here’s where the magic happens: Self-acceptance. You don’t need to chase it. You don’t need to constantly worry about “Am I cool enough? Am I good enough? Am I perfect enough?” Because when you accept yourself for who you are, not based on some checklist of achievements or likes on Instagram, you stop needing to constantly prove yourself. And here’s the best part: when you truly accept yourself, you’ll find a kind of confidence you never thought possible. No ups and downs. No roller coasters. Just you, standing tall.

Think of it this way: Self-esteem is like trying to keep a balloon floating in the air, depending on everyone around you to keep it up. But self-acceptance is like being the anchor that keeps you grounded no matter what winds come your way.

Here’s the bottom line: if you’re still relying on everyone else’s opinion to feel good about yourself, you’re setting yourself up to fall. Self-acceptance? That’s the rock-solid foundation that never shakes. Embrace who you are—flaws, mistakes, and all. Because when you do that, you stop needing the constant approval of others, and instead, you become your own biggest fan. That’s power. And it doesn’t come from anyone else but you.

Ben Pham

​Ben Pham is a counselor-in-training at Zenith Counseling, dedicated to fostering personal growth and healing. Ben brings a unique blend of professional training and personal experience to his practice. He employs Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Narrative Therapy to help clients align with their core values and pursue meaningful lives. Ben is committed to providing a compassionate, judgment-free environment where clients feel understood and supported. ​

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